Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm at about main and main street
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
