she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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