i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
