Do you still have your period?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
