I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
