My friends, they love my intelligence
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
