DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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