meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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