I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
