God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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