the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
