Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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