Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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