If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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