We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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