And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need moral support for this bender
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
