Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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