it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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