She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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