Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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