Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
