We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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