If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
