the condom got lost in my hair
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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