This girl is more easily done than said...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
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