Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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