you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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