Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
