She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
