he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
