I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
