so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
