How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
