The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize