My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
