It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
