how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize