It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
