yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize