GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
