he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
