Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish I only lived at night.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
