Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize