I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
