I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
