dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
