And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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