He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
