dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God I need to hump something, right now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
