i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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