...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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