The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Blood and glitter go together right?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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