just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
