chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
