yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
