as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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