think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
