i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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