she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
