He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
