just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
