the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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