I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
