either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
