So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
