i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
